I left you all in December 2014. I had just finished the best course I had ever done at the end of November which resulted in a published book. Not launched but published. It has taken another two years to learn about actually launching!
By the end of Screw Work Let’s Play – 30 Day Challenge I had my final chapter in The Darling Menopause… “Menopause Wannabes”.
It was my friend Frankie’s 40th birthday party and all these 30 and 40 somethings, apart from me and one other, were awe-struck. Possibly not in a good way. When I threw down my HRT and stated that menopause was great because you suddenly started speaking your mind!
One friend, said I want that, hence menopause wannabes. Of course it hasn’t all been plain sailing since then, but more like lurches and bumps and zig zag. I know now that this is normal – err it is called life, and it is messy.
- Doctor again.
- More tablets.
- More estrogen and to start progesterone as not such a basket case
- Diet better
- Goal to do more in holidays in Tanzania
- Trying to be a housewife and relax
- Often couldn’t get out of bed
- Couldn’t get out of the house
- Finished with course and not replaced with anything else except feeling of failure
- Enrolled for the screw work academy for 3 months but it didn’t give me the framework I needed
- Still trying to push through and feeling it must be me.
- Terrible headaches
- Leg pains
24th January 2015 – Happy 2015
Well obviously this year I WANT to bring about world peace and be a better person, but my first priority for 2015 is to get my website sorted and then my hair. Or in tandem sort out my hair and my website. In fact my hair and then my website. I MUST do something about my hair.
It is coming out in clumps, as I have just released my pony tail after 3 weeks. I didn’t dare let it out over the holiday in case it all came out with the hair tie.
My daughter has been asking me on a daily basis to brush it, but I didn’t even do it on New Year’s Eve or for my step-son’s 21st birthday party, which was very posh.
Dirty, stiff hair is really easy to style, as I just shoved tons of hairspray in it, and went for the Joanna Lumley look with lots of hair accessories. For those of you who know her, I hasten to add that my lookalike hairdo is the one BEFORE she gets drunk and her up do becomes her side do.
It really wasn’t as painful to brush it as I thought it would be. I reckon if I am trying to look on the bright side, maybe a bit of hair loss is better than facial hair? That is a hard one. What do you reckon gals?
The other focus this year has to be understanding my fucking hormones and then hubs and I need to have a few summits. We had one already in early January, which went very well.
I know it looks like I have planned my year around the letter H but I promise I haven’t.
Oh dear today they are really making me sigh. I have NOT however had a temper tantrum.
I went to the doctor again in UK on the second day I was there. I had had my blood tests done in Dar so she had results to make analysis from.
Summary from the wonderful Doctor guineapig-ologist
Number One – I am not as better or as balanced as I should be. I am taking max oestrogen tablets. Patches and gel don’t work. That is because I am clearly special and important.
Number Two – because I am not as better as I should be – ie. symptom free, I can’t start progesterone until I am less mad, as it apparently will make me madder……oh hurrah. I need progesterone for cancer protection and for SLEEP. Oh yes, I remember what that is…..well vaguely.
Now the good news is (!) though that there is an underlying reason for all this madness and waftiness in the afternoons and insomnia and why the little darling tablets have worked for some symptoms but not others. This is that I am insulin resistant. So hugely important and clever. If I have understood it correctly, it is quite common for women to have insulin resistance which can stop or interfere with HRT working fully.
So with diet changes and lots of exercise, I should be as right as rain.
Why don’t I fully believe that last sentence? Hmm not sure, but I am sugar free, caffeine free, hair free – well nearly – and grain free. Everything that is nice, sodding free…