The Four Things Women Get Wrong – Not ALL Women, ALL The Time, BUT Quite A Lot Of Women, Quite A Lot Of The Time…
- Too many women DON’T have a plan for their lives. No plan, NOT even a BAD plan
Every woman should have a 10-year plan for what they want to achieve and how they are going to grow as a person. Too many of us lurch from day to day or month to month reacting to our family and/or work situation and lose perspective of life’s bigger picture. Often women have a 10-year, 3-year, annual and quarterly plan at work but NOT for their outside work life. I did this for years. My work plan was my plan. My identity was wrapped up in work and everything else was an add on.
- Women don’t put themselves first
We are hormonally wired to people please. Oestrogen does this – it is the nurturing hormone women have in abundance. Because we are often the primary carers of the next generation as well as workers, leaders etc. it is even more important that we care for ourselves really well.Often this is seen as a luxury not just by women themselves but families, friends and colleagues as well. Taking care of yourself needs to be seen as an investment NOT an add-on. As Dr Christiane Northrup says, “Women are left with 5,000 years of patriarchy and with a feeling of inferiority. We are afraid of not being liked or being alone. Learn to just say NO. It is a full sentence which women need to use more. There is a huge focus on breast cancer but the number one killer for women is heart disease. You can see breasts, but we need to care for our own hearts not just everybody else’s ….”This hit me when I became a parent at the age of 45 and then went back to a full time, high flying job. I had no idea how to relax. I would positively twitch I had so many lists running through my head.
- Women lack confidence in their greatness
The marketing industry doesn’t help this at all. Dr Gail Dines says, “If women loved their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business….”We are poorly informed about our own bodies and our health. Many female bodily functions are still surrounded in stigma. We don’t know about the cycle of life apart from reproduction. We don’t track our periods, we don’t know about perimenopause or menopause or how to age well. We get sucked into denigrating our body parts on a regular basis to our friends and worse and in front of our girl and boy children. This all stops us being as great as we should be. Dr Sara Gottfried explains this so well; “A consequence of a lack of confidence and information is that women can end up by default not growing and deepening their experience on the planet and therefore choosing to decline…”WHAT A WASTE. This was exactly me. I had all this knowledge and when I started doing workshops I felt so tentative about what I saying as I thought everyone would know more and I was some sort of fake. It wasn’t true. Not many ordinary women have spend hours researching their hormones like I have!
- Women don’t eat enough and/or eat at precisely the wrong times
So many women don’t eat breakfast or have coffee or something sugary on the run. We don’t make time for lunch or just have a starchy carb heavy snack. We then feel guilty when we start eating too much late afternoon and evening, when in fact we can’t help it. Cravings are bio-chemical and we can’t control them, especially if we haven’t eaten enough healthy food during the day. Our bio-chemistry requires fat as fuel for our brains and bodies. Fat storing is wired into our brains – just like reproduction is. In the olden days, healthy fats were the only food stuffs available. Nowadays we get fat from low-grade starchy carbs, which give us cravings because they are so full of sugar. Are you guilty of this? Guilt is also bio-chemical….I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes before I realised that all that fruit and fresh fruit juice and lack of protein was causing my afternoon cravings. I had no idea. Worse still I always thought I was quite well informed on the dietary front. How wrong. Fruit is not the same as lots of green vegetables.
Set yourself one new goal every 100 days to adjust, nudge and amend your lifestyle. You will be surprised how effective it can be. Just one goal – no more but STICK AT IT.