January 2016 Wasn’t Much Better…

Alright enough of all that deep stuff. The reality was in January 2016 I was still overthinking lists and trying to get off Xanax and Cipralex.

I had a eureka moment in the car one morning at 6.25am when I was talking TT to the school bus. The time is important. It isn’t really but I realise that I always like to share the precise time of my wondrous thoughts.

Anyway I asked TT was there anything that she needed done that day? She asked if I could get her bulbs for the two new lamps I had got her in November. I felt instantly guilty. Lamps without bulbs are pretty useless. I babbled. Yes of course I would and that it was on my to do list. Then the killer question…..”Mum” actually it is usually several syllables more like – “MU U U UM….have you ever thought about having a day to actually do your to do list?”

Holy crap she knew. I babbled more…”Yes that is such a good idea”

I don’t know how they dropped off my list either, they have been on there for ages. Now I was off those awful HRT tablets, I WAS doing more, or I FELT that I am doing more. I was feeling needy and I wanted her to confirm that I had been doing more than pre-HRT. She was non-committal while wanting to be supportive. “Yes”, she said, “but I still don’t have bulbs in my lamps.”

“Good point,” I gushed. “What else do you need?”
“Mosguard, roll on please.

“Consider it done,” I triumphed.

I dropped her off and then immediately wrote them down on the list for the next day. It would be a bit too much to do it there and then. I couldn’t quite manage it that day.

That night I was awake for a lot of it. Why? The bloody bulbs. I hadn’t checked WHICH bulbs they were. There do seem to be a plethora around these days.

The problem is that I have never been a very efficient shopper, so I end up getting badly on my own nerves most of the time.

Do you think there are two types of people who shop? Those who check beforehand in their larder what they need and those who don’t? Even when I bulk buy I always get home and the last remaining roll of kitchen towel stares at me and I think you bastard…..

I need a checklist. I have a list and I get or try to get what is on the list in one place. I really don’t like going to more than one shop as I start feeling drugged and dangerous and prone to random shopping for not-on-list-items.

The other day I was so pissed off on Sunday when my hubs and TT swung into the supermarket UNPLANNED to get something for his boat, and ended up with other purchases. The irritation came from the fact that they didn’t call and ask me if we needed something. BECAUSE YES WE DID. We needed the bits from my list, which hadn’t made their way onto that list, which I had forgotten.

What A WASTED opportunity. TT came home with toothpaste. We are now a proud household boasting 15 tubes of toothpaste.

I had read somewhere you shouldn’t ever go shopping hungry or you end up with chocolate. I am not sure if that was just for children, but I take that very seriously so the chocolate is safe provided I have had my spinach, avo, ginger and mango smoothie. Do you think that sounds lovely? I think it is an acquired taste personally but I feel VERY superior after I have drunk it. Homemade of course.

I had checklists for work for 30 years. I think I over did them and that they sucked the life-blood out of me so that now I can’t bear the thought of having another list with items that will mean at some stage I am responsible for them.

No I don’t need a checklist, I need WAITROSE ON LINE in Dar es Salaam. That is what I need. In the UK on holiday I used it so that my shopping arrived one hour after I did from the airport. It is the MOST fabulous service for womankind.

PLUS and this is where it gets so exciting. It has a checklist for you, which reminds you what you usually order. AND PLUS it sends you little reminders saying that if you have forgotten anything despite all the prompts and nudges it gives you, you can go in and change the order at any time up until about a nano second before it is packed and brought to your door by a lovely friendly cheerful delivery man.

It was so heartening to me to know that the UK is full of other numpties like me who need total handholding to get their shopping done. It must have been designed BY perimenopausal women FOR perimenopausal women.

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